Let it Go, let it go, can’t hold it back anymore. Let it go, let it go, turn away and slam that door. I don’t care what they’re going to say. Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway.
Why can’t I get this freakin song out of my head? For those of you who have been exposed to the movie Frozen or should I say empire…… yeah you know what I’m talking about. But I’ll come to that later.
So Lewy & I spent last Saturday & Sunday babysitting my niece and nephew and I gotta say it was pretty rad-but it always is. I’m sure my sister and husband more importantly enjoyed their night off too as it doesn’t come around that often. To break it down, there is just something about hanging with kids that I love. I think every adult should have a friend who is a kid because with them life is simple and full of rainbows and first glances and all the stuff that you forget about when you become all adult and responsible like. There is no bullshit, no pretences, no fake humour (well maybe fake giggles), they tell it like it is and love you for who you are- not for what car you drive, what you look like or who you hang with. I hate when that changes. So for now at 18 months & nearly 5 years, they love me just cause so that is why they are rad and I am happy. And did I mention they are funny. The stuff that comes out of their mouths without even thinking about it, well you could write quote books.
I enter the room with a bear hug from my niece Michala (you know the kind where you squeeze hard and make a weird bear growl sound) and it dawns upon me that this is what both my uncles used to do to me when I was little. The passing down of this act makes me feel all nostalgic and I am briefly reminded of how much I miss my deceased uncle. Which then makes me miss my nanna, but without going into some depressed downward spiral-I just hold onto that moment for the clarity it gives me. Then when she says she’s been practicing them, I get all gooey and that is the stuff that makes me wanna cry, but happy tears. I get a bit like this when I am around them. Then I scoop up Hayden who I think goes through moments of not-quite-sure about me but then also laughs at my funny faces or cuddles into me when I have smelly morning breath, so I don’t know. I like to think that when they’re both older they’re gonna think I am the cool aunty who got them into old bands like Rolling Stones, The Cure and Fleetwood Mac which I am sure my darling older sis Nicky won’t (no offence to your music tastes). Hey maybe we can even go to gigs together-but for now, I’ll just stick with Livvy.
I have to be honest, babysitting can be tiring too so when it comes to parenthood, I do commend you all. Playing barbies for consecutive hours can be draining but also quite funny. Whilst Michala spends most of the time getting them in and out of various outfits from ski Barbie to rocker Barbie, the only ken she has sits on the side waiting patiently for the party to arrive, or his wedding, or when he saves one of the other barbies from potential danger. The funniest moment was a few months ago when she had all the barbies naked in a pool and ken got to jump in. I don’t think she got it when I said ‘how lucky Ken was’ but I’m sure in a few years they will all be swimming with their clothes on-which is also kinda sad as it will mean she will be aware of things like body image. Or maybe poor Ken & Barbie will be packed up in a box replaced with the next fad like a Frozen doll.
After she made us dinner (alike to how we tell her she babysits us) and we had played ball with Hayden back and forth, we all sat down to watch her favourite film at the moment, Frozen. Now this is the bit where that song, oh god the song, creeps back into my head. Now it is not just me, one of the producers at work, a grown man who is smart and witty and can make sense of things, but who also has kids-has been walking around singing ‘Let it go’ or ‘do you want to build a snowman’-that then puts the crafty tunes back into my head-damn him!! I have to listen to music all day to distract myself; I even have to admit that I have dreamt about the song twice-now surely there is some weird subliminal messaging going on. Please can’t I just let it go like the song says?
But if having that song in my head means that I also got to enjoy them both snuggling into me, then I’ll take going mental with an animated musical any day. I’ll take playing in the park, dress ups, silly songs and dance routines for anyone who will watch, because it does one very important thing-reconnects me with my inner child and makes me think and dream big. When the world gets so crazy and your head gets so full of all the things that can potentially make you sad or mad, just let it go and unwind with some kids, because soon they will grow and they might realize that maybe you’re not as cool as you once thought you were.