Destination: Some Place Else

…to get away for if only a moment

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20. Anger pains

Run up a hill as fast as you can.
Run like you were that kid again
racing to the finish line.
Run like you’re scared for your life.
Run for fun, further and further upwards
you go until your muscles
are burning from the test.
All you can see is the steep
slope down and now you are the owner
of it all below.
This is yours just now.
Let your eyes follow the horizon.
Think of nothing but the freshness of this air
that floats and glides around you.
Now breathe and let all the hate, the anger,
the tension, the stress of the day, the past
–let it leave you.
Take gratitude in the silence and the peace that you have.
It can tumble down to the depths
of the earth for all you care.
Up here on your very own little hill.

09/07/14 10.20pm

I had an interesting encounter the other day with one very angry man. I won’t go into the details -just to know there was a long winded back story as to why he got so angry, though not enough to justify acting so dangerously. Have no concern, I’m not talking about anyone I personally know; it was just something I witnessed. But it really got me thinking back to all the times I had seen boys and men (and hey who are we kidding, sometimes really angry women) become overly aggressive. Luckily it hasn’t been something I’ve been overly exposed to firsthand, but there have been moments when I have seen eyes glaze over and quite frankly, not know which way the situation might go.

I had intended to write a blog about the many ways that you can let your stress and anger subside. How it really does take so much more effort to be aggressive in life than just to let things be. Though whilst sitting on a hill watching time pass may work for some in chilling their inner angst, there are other things to think about. See when I got to work yesterday I was listening to two ladies at my work talking and it made me think about the other side to anger. These awesome ladies are both mothers of teenage/early 20s sons and the differences in their attitudes to my own parents-who came from raising two daughters, is completely eye opening and something to take a note from. I mean I hope when I am a parent I am just as clued in as they both are. Maybe kids always think their parents have no idea what they get up to, but in reality they sometimes just choose to turn a blind eye.

Everyone has their own take on what can be right or wrong for kids these days, especially when it comes to violence and anger. But what if we took a deeper look and remember that men are actually meant to roam, to be wild animals in their essence. Rather than completely suppressing these natural emotions, causing moments like the mentioned angry man- should we actually look at embracing ways to harness it. If men can be men in a controlled environment, then maybe situations like king hits and street brawls may be lessened. Though on the other side, once drugs and alcohol is in the mix, it can be a whole other ball game.

Feminists might argue it’s because men have trouble expressing their emotions, but maybe their real emotions are ‘I want to wrestle and tumble and get angry sometimes and that does not mean I am then going to be violent towards women or other men.’ I mean is banishing toy guns and violent video games the answer, I really don’t know-as to be honest I’m not an advocate of either. But once upon a time, I was a tom boy and would run around with my very own fake pistol or super soaker and be utterly thrilled by it. Have I turned into some insane, aggressive women on a rampage-no? But I was allowed by my parents to enjoy the emotions I had, whilst they also kept an observational eye on it too.

So these mothers both believed their boys needed exposure to ways they could release their frustrations and testosterone without hurting someone irresponsibly. That is why I don’t think martial arts is bad, yes it teaches men and women alike to fight, but it is also about self defense (which I think is incredibly important for women) and respect for fighting without looking for the fight. I have days where I have an abundance of energy and yes sometimes I do get angry or stressed and need a release. I can find it by yoga, in sex, by having a chat with some girlfriends or sometimes I just need to run or dance so hard and push myself till I am sweating and panting but loving it. People need to push their limits at times to know they are alive. So what am I trying to say through all these words?

Being human is beautiful because we get these pretty rad things called emotions. Now some people feel more than they would like, other not enough. We all have our vices and vulnerabilities and some of us have worse baggage than others. Some of us cry for no reason, some of us laugh at situations as a means of coping and some people get angry very quickly. Anger, like fear, is one of the strongest emotions and is often considered to be a negative emotion. Yes, when people are hurt, then tick, yes it is bad. But what if we learnt to harness all this angry passion and redirect it into positivity and fuel for change. Use it to be successful, be creative, be athletic. Just don’t let yourself become that angry little man or woman who beats down on others because they can’t control themselves. Be better, be stronger and have more worth.

As the Kills say in their song ‘Heart is a Beating Drum’
Send your love on a rampage
Give her everything you’ve got
And when you come to hate her
Show her more than just a spark

‘Cause the heart is a beating drum
The heart is a beating drum
It takes more than you wanted before
To keep it on, it’s a beating

Listen to the song for some inspiration if you want your passion to play.